“Attachment is the source of all suffering.” Buddha
And Buddha got it right, again.
Attachment is the source of our suffering. when we become attached to something we become fully dependent on it.
It becomes our possession, our obsession, our sweet addiction that makes us wanting more until we find ourselves another getaway to become dependent on.
What I’ve been reading and researching about for two years is love.
How do our brains fall in love? Why do we fall in love? How do we overcome the power of love obsession and become more in control of our deep unconscious thoughts? Are all mentally strong people detached from their emotions?
I don’t know if I can answer all these questions and I can tell you that I haven’t found the power on how to become detached from my own feelings towards someone yet but I do know how to write about it.
Attachment for both women and men is the same, and I mean attachment as in a kind of an OCD.
When you can’t take your mind off them, when you idealize the other person who’s only a human being and is full of flaws just like you and me, when you find yourself thinking about your moments together instead of focusing on the present, that’s how you know you’re fully attached.
We, humans, tend to say I love you too soon, we tend to give up on our crucial very personal routines for that one special person who can easily crush our heart and walk all over it without even shedding a tear.
It hurts, but you know what also hurts? Knowing that it’s you to blame. You were just too attached.
So how do we not get attached?
Easy. It’s all in your mind.
- STOP FANTASIZING ABOUT THEM.
Stop the daydreams, stop the thought right when it happens. Shift your thoughts to something else. Train your brain.
2. KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN.
3. POINT OUT THE NEGATIVITIES.
You see something wrong in them? Keep it in mind. Write it down. Yes, we all have flaws, and it’s okay to point other people’s flaws, you’re not being rude, you’re only being realistic.
4. DON’T GIVE THEM TOO MUCH OF YOUR TIME.
You have to go to the gym? Don’t cancel to see them.
Priorities come first, and that is going to be you. You are your first priority. Then comes friends and family. Then, them.
5. STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE.
You desperately want to be with them, with them with them. Like, as a couple, as in a relationship.
But what’s the fun when you want to jump into a relationship before even knowing the person?
6. KNOW WHAT YOU EXACTLY WANT.
Set yourself some standards and raise them as high as you want, You’re special and you deserve all the best.
7. WRITE DOWN YOUR BEST QUALITIES AND HAVE SOME SELF CONFIDENCE.
8. AND FINALLY, REMEMBER THAT:
The less attached you are, the more peaceful you are.